Live in the Moment

So…how are all of you doing? 2020 sure has been one hell of a year…wouldn’t you agree?? It has been one of the most unsettling and uncertain times of my life…and I’m struggling. I’m really trying to keep a positive outlook, but my heart is heavy for lots of different reasons.

The absolute BEST thing about 2020 is Blakely. That little girl has brought some much needed sunshine to my life and my heart. I look forward to seeing her and I miss her when she’s not here. She has my heart wrapped around her little finger. Her smile just warms my heart and makes everything in the world feel ok for the time being. She is my safe place…my happy place…the place where all is good.

While Blakely has been the best thing about 2020, I do worry about what the world she is going to grow up in. I try not to focus on that too much, because it is out of my circle of control. Sometimes, I can let go of those things, but at other times, I have a death grip on what is outside of that circle and I cling onto it like there’s no tomorrow.

Many of you may not know that my dad was recently diagnosed with lymphoma. He had no idea that anything was wrong…had been having no symptoms. We found out after he took a pretty nasty fall several months ago. He fell off of a trailer that he was using to haul a lawn mower. He took a really hard fall and from that moment, he had severe pain when he tried to get up out of bed or even out of a chair. Mom convinced him to go to the doctor and he had an xray and a CT scan. That’s when we were told that it looked like lymphoma. At that point, they still weren’t sure, but they felt pretty certain that it was some type of cancer. The doctors also saw that he had fractured his spine.

Fast forward a couple of months, and a specialist confirmed the first doctor’s diagnosis. He did offer some very positive news…we caught it early. Dad saw a hematologist last week and I was somewhat confused about the treatment plan. Dad was told that they would wait and watch his disease because there was no immediate threat to his health. That sounded insane to me…I mean…it’s cancer…right? Yes, it is. However, the “watch and wait” approach is a common treatment plan for lymphoma and what’s even more odd is that this form of treatment is just as effective as other more aggressive forms of treatment. I still find myself somewhat unsure of the plan, but I have to trust that this doctor knows what he’s doing.

Life is never simple and it is never easy and you never know what a day holds. Last week, Taylor had a friend whose mother was killed in a car accident. Her friend was at her house for their Thanksgiving dinner and when he arrived home, he found out his mother had been killed. My mind and my heart have been heavy for this family…and I barely know them. But…knowing that the holidays are just around the corner and that their Thanksgiving was turned completely upside down just breaks my heart.

People…I’m telling you….LIVE IN THE MOMENT. Life is so fragile and we are not guaranteed tomorrow. I can’t explain to you the pain that is felt when your world is shaken with the death of a loved one. It’s something that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

Cliche as it may be…live…laugh…love. Be present and enjoy the little things and the time you have with your loved ones. That is what’s really important in this life. All the deals and material possessions you find on Black Friday will never replace the time you have with your loved ones.

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